Who’s Driving Your Bus?

Ever notice how you can feel like a completely different person depending on what's happening?

One day you're confident, capable and ready for anything. The next, a small comment leaves you wanting to hide under the doona. Or maybe one part of you knows you need a rest, while another is busy writing tomorrow's to-do list.

In Resource Therapy, we're curious about these different parts of ourselves. A helpful way to imagine them is as passengers on a bus.

Meet your passengers

There might be a part who is fantastic in a crisis. A caring part who looks after everyone. A playful part who loves dancing in the kitchen. A nervous part who worries about getting things wrong.

Perhaps there's also a tired part who's fallen asleep in the back seat, and a rather bossy part shouting directions from three rows behind!

Every part has a story. Some parts are already doing well: they're our strengths, resources and allies. Others may still carry fear, sadness, rejection or disappointment from experiences that were difficult to process at the time.

And who gets to drive?

Imagine you're about to have a difficult conversation. Your grounded, courageous part might be exactly who you want driving. But an anxious part, remembering a time when it felt unsafe to speak up, may suddenly grab the wheel.

We don't need to blame that anxious part. We can get curious about what it's carrying, what it's trying to manage and what might help it feel safer.

It's not about kicking anyone off the bus. It's about helping our inner community work together.

Resource Therapy offers us a map

A Resource Therapist might begin by asking three simple questions:

• What would you like to change?
• How would you like to feel?
• How would you like to act?

Your answers help the therapist explore what might be happening within your internal community. Resource Therapy uses different therapeutic action steps depending on whether parts are carrying unresolved emotions, in conflict with one another, or already available as healthy resources.

Sometimes the work involves helping a part carrying old pain to have a different, supportive felt experience. At other times it's about bringing an overlooked strength back into the driver's seat, maybe your playful part, your steady part, or the part that knows how to set a boundary with kindness.

What about the parts doing well?

They're every bit as important. Resource Therapy doesn't only focus on what's difficult. We want to know about the parts of you that already know how to feel confident, connected, capable, compassionate or safe.

These parts can become allies as you work through challenges. Sometimes the resource you need isn't missing, it's just been sitting quietly somewhere on the bus.

A little question for the road

Next time you notice a strong reaction, you might gently wonder: Who's driving my bus right now? What does this part need? Is there another part of me that could help?

You don't have to work it all out on your own. Sometimes curiosity is a beautiful place to begin.